STOP THE SPIRAL
The conflict guide for engaged couples.
Most couples don't fight about what they think they're fighting about.
This guide helps you understand the real patterns behind your arguments
and how to finally do something about them!
11+ YEARS
OFFICIATING AND COACHING
120+
ENGAGED COUPLES
WORLD-WIDE
VIRTUAL
What's Inside
Five sections designed to help you understand, interrupt, and recover from conflict. Every time.
ONE
Why Arguments Spiral
Most conflicts aren't about the issue. They're about feeling unheard. Learn what's actually happening in your body and brain during a fight.
TWO
Your Conflict Patterns
Every couple has a cycle. This section helps you identify yours so you can interrupt it before it takes over.
THREE
Triggers & Emotional Flooding
When you're flooded, you can't problem-solve. Learn to recognize your triggers and what to do when you hit your limit.
FOUR
How To Repair
Repair isn't weakness. It's the skill that keeps couples together. This section gives you the tools to come back to each other every time.
FIVE
Coing Back To Each Other
The practical steps for after the argument. What to say, how to reconnect, and how to make sure the same fight doesn't keep happening.
Hi, I'm Kristi.
As a premarital coach, I've been helping engaged couples prepare for marriage for nearly a decade. In that time, I've seen one thing separate the couples who thrive from the ones who struggle: they learned how to fight well before they ever said I do.
This guide is where it begins.
We didn't think we needed a conflict guide. We thought we were fine.
This made us realize we'd been having the same argument that showed up in different ways for months."
MORGAN & TYLER, MARRIED 2025
Real questions, real answers
Is this guide religious based?
Nope. Stop the Spiral is completely secular. It's designed to work for any couple regardless of faith, background, or belief system.
Is this guide like therapy?
No, and it doesn't try to be. This is an educational guide, not a clinical tool. It teaches you the concepts and gives you the language. If deeper issues come up, that's a great sign therapy might help — and I'd always encourage it.
We're doing great. Do we really need this?
Honestly, this guide is for you. Couples who fight rarely still have patterns — they just haven't been tested yet. Understanding how you each handle conflict before you're in the middle of a hard season is one of the smartest things you can do.
How long will it take us to work through the guide?
You can read through it in about an hour. The real value is in the reflection questions and worksheets, which you'll want to do together. Most couples spread it across a couple of sessions.
What if something surfaces we can't handle on our own?
It means the guide did its job. I offer Premarital Counseling sessions if you want support working through anything that comes up. Send a message to [email protected] and we'll figure out next steps together.
You're one download away
from fighting less and coming back faster!
Yours for only $9! (that's cheaper than your Starbucks order)
BROOKS WEDDING CEREMONIES ·
GRAND RAPIDS, MI · KRISTI BROOKS-OLIVO